I’m 41 and have been dating a widower for 5 months now. He lost his wife a year and a half ago. He hasn’t told his kids that he’s dating. He said he’s surprise that he’s opened up to me the way that he has but he don’t think he can love.
We dated 5-years, he never slept with me but kept cheating – Fancy Acholonu
Lover of music, travel, and fashion. Authentic sharer of life lessons and dating foibles. Miraculously, I met the perfect guy right after my 49th birthday in early January. Author’s photo2021 started out more promising than any other of my 8 years of dating after the implosion of my marriage.
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I only get acknowledgement when I am with him. Sometimes when he is over and he gets triggered, he just leaves. I have attachment issues because of my own experience of relationship models that were not loving to each other. There are times I try to talk about things and he makes jokes. I have to tell him it’s not joke time.
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I did meet with him and we had a really good talk. I asked where he was at and what he was thinking. I also did let him know that I needed to be able to see him at least once a week, that I needed the one on one face time with him. It has been about 6 weeks and he has made the time to see me at least once a week sometimes more . It has been really good to do that and we talk and spend quality time together. I am happy to take things slow as I believe it is good for me as well.
Ws are broken and you’re a Goddess who doesn’t have time to fix them. As if we don’t already feel ostracized and isolated enough as it is. Here you are making it into some vomit inducing event. I advised to have a conversation with him and if he persists…he’s not ready.
He’s very open about her and I don’t feel threatened. I try to make sure he doesn’t feel guilty and shame about it. We had a couple fights about those things. He still goes for supper on occasion and all. The fact that you feel this entitlement really does show that dating a widowed person is not for you. The person that passed has a right to be honored and remembered not erased because you haven’t learned to manage your insecurities.
He us constantly thinking about me and what is next on our trips. We are meeting one another’s family in the forthcoming weeks. I feel so blessed to have found love on our last leg of our lives together. I lost my wife of 52 years 3 years ago to cancer. I love her deeply and it’s taken me these past 3 years to come to grip with her death. We built a large family together and are very close to this day.
Bitterness, or fear…she should graciously bow out instead of trying to force the man to be in a place he’s not ready to be. That’s the kind thing to do for them both. Bobbi, I am so happy I found your post today.
But I am his wife now and I expect to be treated as such. I am dating a W and it is going great. He is very attentive and has shown signs of being very interested. We have been intimate and he has always wanted to please me, but, he can not get it up. He says he really wants to and says it was not a problem before. He says he is going to talk to a doctor, but as far as I know he has not and I am suspect he is afraid to find out what is really happening.